Many cell phones with cameras have a little feature in which you can frame your intended subject within a mocked-up context, like the image on the right. I took a shot of my cat Bella in a digital football helmet. On a prior phone there was a simple sunglasses template: all you had to do was position the subject behind the sunglasses to make them look like, say, a highway patrolman.
But this one just kills me. This is my cat, Toki Wartooth, in a news template. It's hard to tell whether the person who wrote this one up was a native English speaker or not. The text dances the fine line between nonsense and eloquence. Even more appropriate for this goofy-assed cat, especially; this is exactly the quality of news channel he and cats like him would construct and set running. This is the kind of copywriting job they would pull off. This scenario is totally believable.
So I like my phone, but not for this reason. And I'm disappointed more of my friends haven't responded to my request to be included on the new phone. See, the Katana doesn't take SIM chips, so I have to enter these phone numbers into it manually, based on contact info from the old phone or my Gmail address book (which is getting closer and closer to containing perfect information). But I thought I'd separate the wheat from the chaff and ask everyone who still wanted to be in touch with me to please send me a message, saying so.
Backfired: three people responded. They may be seeing this as an opportunity to slip quietly out the back door.
I noticed someone checked "dumb" on the previous post. Maybe it was dumb. I'm the one who typed in that option in the first place. Still, to see someone actually check that off is bothersome, especially with the lack of constructive criticism in the Comments section. Just some faceless, anonymous nuisance who wants to weigh in without being held responsible for their actions.
Who would do that? Last time it happened, it was some jackoff in New Jersey. I would expect that kind of behavior from New Jersey. I would be stunned if something pleasant came out of New Jersey's mouth. But this was someone in Minneapolis, at twenty after six today, someone visiting me via Alexis' Girl Friday site, which receives a lot of traffic so it could've been anyone. I can only trace their ISP to a provider called Auncor, located at 800 Washington Ave. They share a building with North Loop Fitness, WeddingFavors.com, and TADS Tuition Management, also clients of Auncor. Do they work there? I don't know enough about Auncor to say.
And that's the extent of my private detective work. I have limited online resources and can conclude nothing to narrow this down at all. So the answer would be to remove the negative checkboxes from the "I'm too lazy to comment" section, or just do away with that option altogether (since I don't think much of leaving only praiseful options for posts) and continue to chuck these slate tablets up into the black hole just over the horizon. I suppose it's not a great idea to enable assholes to act on their inclination.