Monday, July 13, 2009

Reflections in Ice Wine

Not doing anything really useful with my evening alone. I should bike out to Hosmer and drop off a way-overdue library book. I will do that, but I should, too. I just ran around and consolidated all the house trash into one bag to be taken out. I cuddled the cats as much as they would tolerate it, and I had a vodka/lime soda. I reheated the remainder of the BK Big Fish from yesterday's road trip, and I played a bunch of Facebook games. I think I'll go for a walk with a cigar.

It's funny how directionless I can be without Rebecca around. She doesn't even have to tell me what to do while she's here: I just feel "on" when she's here. Without her, I feel like I'm killing time, stalling, waiting for something that's about to happen. I think I'd be very bad at living alone again. I fantasize about it when we're shopping in IKEA or World Market, I think about how I'd decorate an apartment or a house all by myself, but in the final analysis (as everyone is saying so frequently lately) it wouldn't be a fun time, I don't think. I'd rather have her around.

I'll clean up the apartment a bit more and try to write at least one letter to send out tomorrow. I bought a sheet of Bob Hope stamps as well as some postcard-rate (domestic) stamps. It sucks that I have to write to complete strangers in order to get my postcard fix. Only two people I know ever send postcards or write letters at all.

For that matter, right now I'm listening to a CD, Lovetune for Vacuum by Soap&Skin, sent to me by a friendly, entertaining lady in northern France. The music sounds a lot like Mum, Rachel's, and Sigur Ros. It's very interesting.

2 comments:

Rebecca said...

I find it interesting that you need me to be around to do things by yourself. Why would you need me there to be able to focus on things that have nothing to do with me or us?

Christian said...

That's a good question, one of my many inconsistencies. Why, indeed. At the very least I need to organize my time better. I'll think about the rest of it.