Wednesday, October 22, 2008

A Look at Some Headlines

Woman Chooses to go to Jail Over $7.45 Bill
I want to hear this woman's side. This article only says that she ordered food, refused to pay, was ordered by a cop to pay and refused again. It says she was brought in on charges with "intent to defraud" but I wonder how accurate that is to the situation. I can see two motivations for her action: either she was that unhappy with her service that she'd rather make a statement (however petty, short-sighted, and pointless), or she was so broke that she conspired to get a meal out of a restaurant even at the cost of jailtime (where, presumably, she would receive more food).

Woman Accused of Tending Bar in the Buff
I have to wonder who complains about something like this. In any watering-hole I would assume that drinkers would not be opposed to seeing a 24y.o. woman with her clothes off. Again, I can see two motivations for making that phone call to the cops: either the caller was a woman who was offended by the display or the bartender was no prize to look at. A third consideration might be someone with genuine hygienic concerns but... again, I doubt hygiene was a priority for a constituency of barflies.

Republicans spent $150,000 on outfits for Palin
The RNC shelled out $150K on clothes for Governor Sarah Palin, citing these as "campaign accessories" in their report of "itemized coordinated expenditures." Now I'm jaded enough to react with "oh, of course" rather than "how dare they." This kind of hypocrisy doesn't phase me at all, coming from the RNC. This, hot on the heels of the revelation that Palin charged Alaska over $21K for 64 one-way tickets and 12 round-trip tickets for her children to travel with her, even to events where they were not invited to attend. Not that she brought them to the event, no, just set them up in a posh hotel for the duration and had the National Governors Association entertain them. That said, the division of 76 flights for $21,000 breaks down to about $276/ticket, and I have to wonder how she got such a good deal on those tickets. Orbitz? Priceline?

86y.o. Driver Hits School Crossing Guard
Marie Conley, in "full uniform and reflective vest," was signaling drivers to stop. I'm guessing she didn't do this by standing on the sidewalk and ahem-ing pointedly. I'm guessing she made herself pretty obvious, enough so that other drivers noticed her. Anis Cazeau noted feeling something hit his vehicle but didn't slow down and claims not to have noticed her. Cazeau has an impressive history of traffic violations, not all of which involve failing to notice an adult in a reflective vest standing in front of his car.

A Country Boy Will Survive (scroll down)
Robert "Ice Man" Evans: Man of Intrigue.

This 46y.o. homeless man earned his nickname two years ago while ice fishing. His six-pack of beer exploded (from chilling on the ice, presumably) and soaked his pants. When he refused to move from his spot until he caught a fish, his pants froze to the ice. Firefighters freed him by pouring hot water around him.

More recently, he was riding his bike in Boulder, CO, when a car hit him and fled. After getting checked out at the hospital (and after a beer and whiskey for the pain), he walked his bike across a bridge (train-only, not intended for pedestrians) when he spotted the lights of an empty coal train heading at him. Reasoning that it was a shorter trip to cross the bridge than run back, he decided to go for it and ran towards the train. Subsequently, he was struck by the train and fell into a creek ten feet below.

He got a ticket for trespassing and will go in for a CT scan and X-rays for the hit-and-run with the car, though I'm sure they'll also check for the effects of getting hit by a train.

Robert "Ice Man" Evans, ladies and gentlemen. "Excitement's his bread, adventure's his butter, and danger? Why, that's just strawberry jam to top it off."


Butch said...

Actually the woman tending bar in the nude was in a town in Illinois on the Mississippi River, not in Mississippi.

Christian said...

Alton, Illinois... ugh. That's a glaring oversight on my part. Thanks for the heads-up.