Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Aside: Bob's Red Mill Ten Grain Hot Cereal

C'mon over here, boys! I got somethin' ta share with ya!

Thet's right, boys, belly on up to the ol' picnic table. Sorry I hain't been able to shell out fer somethin' better 'n this ol' thing, but as you know, ol' Bob's kinda skint and times is hard fer a grain farmer. Oh, the ol' missus, she's always on me about, why cain't ya grow corn or soybeans like everyone else, thet's where the money is, doncha know. Wa-a-al, that's exactly why I ain't a-growin' thet stuff! Ol' Bob's always treadin' the unbeaten path, if ya know what I mean.

Anyway, heh heh! Listen to me bellyachin'! Thet ain't why I called y'all up here. I got somethin' fer ya! A special li'l treat I like to call Bob's Red Mill Ten Grain Hot Cereal! He'p yerself, boys!

See, I named it after myself, Bob, and the name of this farm, Red Mill Farm. See? See how I did thet? An' I call it "Ten Grain Hot Cereal" on account of there bein' ten differ'nt grains in it! Go on and count 'em if ya like, but you know ol' Bob's on the up-and-up. You know you'll never get less'n a square deal with ol' Bob, right boys?

He'p yourself to as much as yer bellies can hold, boys! Hard workin' farmhands setch as yerselves deserve it! God knows I hain't been able to pay ya, an' I want ya to know I'm sorry 'bout thet, but as you know times is hard for the ol' Red Mill. But I'll be damned if I'm-a just roll over and capitulate to th' caprices of the grain elevator, ya hear me? Oh sure, it's all corn and soybeans right now, but what about tomorrow? Okra? Beets? Naw, boys, grain's a classic. Grain'll be here longer'n you or I and everybody'll be eatin' it from the cradle to the grave. You c'n bank on thet.

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